I have a dream, a fantasy part 2

Calling all celebrity investors

Oh come on, we all know there are a lot of celebrities desperate to find ways to spend all their hard earned cash. With Wayne Rooney earning a reported £1,785 per hour, Tom Cruise is estimated to be worth a cool US$500 million and Lewis Hamilton has a £68 million fortune he must need help with spending…

However, it is not easy to get to these celebrities and if I can be serious for a moment, I am looking for a partner who will also gain something from the enterprise, as that is really what it is all about.

So, option 1 was – wait for it- Robert Pattinson, or R Patz as he is unfathomably known. A couple of years ago I was reading an article about this British heartthrob and star of the Twilight Movies, where he was talking about the pressure of being followed by fans and the fact that many of them would ask him to BITE THEM! Now if that is not a guy in need of a quiet place to hide, then I don’t know who is.

So, I hatched a plan for him to invest in my B&B smallholding, which in return would provide Mr Pattinson with the perfect ‘cover’ and a lovely cottage in the grounds for when he wants to ‘get away from it all’ and when he stays then the B&B is ‘full’.

It would also be a top place for his dog ‘Bear’ (I did my research!) to stay. The final selling point was that I am the most confidential person I know!

So, I found out the contact details for his agent and wrote an introductory letter and proposal (for the business, not of marriage - is he good looking, I hadn't noticed!) AND…

…I never received a response, which, in reality, did not come as a big surprise.

Plan B is to go to one of his premiers and call him over using a megaphone to hand over the proposal directly, but I don’t want to waste my savings on bail money, so haven’t put it into action yet.